March 5: Stud

I'm an animal lover. Always have been, always will be. It's a trait I inherited from my Mom, and I'm proud of it because of that. Unfortunately, when you welcome an animal into your home , at some level you know that inevitably there will come a day when you have to say good-bye. It's part of nature...of life. Through my years, I've experienced the death of several family pets; both as a youth and as an adult on my own - 3 dogs, 3 cats, 2 fish, 2 gerbils, a frog, and likely others that I've long forgotten. It's never an easy thing to lose a pet, but, for me, the level of sadness I've felt has usually been directly related to my connection with the animal. Which is probably logical by most standards. Dogs and cats - a very strong sense of sadness; fish, gerbils and frog - not as much. However, that changed this afternoon with the passing of Stud - our Pleco or Plecostomus. It's the first time I've ever felt such grief over losing a fish. But, I guess that's probably because Stud was no ordinary fish. We inherited Stud from my Mom and Dad, after their deaths in 2008. There were five fish in all that we took in, but Stud was the only one whom my folks felt compelled to name. Thus, he was special. He was just a tiny thing when they first got him from the "fish store", as my Mom would call it. But, over the years, and he lived quite a few, he grew into a monster of a fish. So big, that I stressed over cleaning the fish tank because I didn't want him brushing against my hand as I scrubbed the inside glass. It just kinda gave me the creeps. Poor fella. They're not the most attractive things in the first place, but then God had to go ahead and make them large, as well. Nonetheless, Stud became a permanent fixture in the fish tank, both at my parent's former home and upstairs in our play room where the tank currently resides. Over the past couple of days, he had been acting a little odd; often floating sideways or upside down. Thus, we kind of had a feeling that the end was near. Normally, a proper fish burial involves some kind words and a flushing down the toilet. Unfortunately, Stud's much too large for that process. So, as weird as this might sound to some of you, we put his remains in a freezer bag, wrapped it into some additional plastic bags, and placed him in our freezer downstairs. I just couldn't bring myself to simply toss him in the garbage, nor would I ever be able to find the right words to explain to my kids why I did that. In the spring, when the ground thaws, we'll take him outside and bury Stud somewhere more fitting, someplace in the yard. Farewell, Stud. You will most definitely be missed!