March 3: Swanky Frankies

Every now and then my daughter will bring home these fliers from school announcing a fundraiser of some sort in which a percentage of your proceeds from your purchase at a local restaurant or retailer goes to the school. Let's see. there was American Pie pizza, Barnes and Noble, and most recently Swanky Frankies; where we had our dinner this evening. Well, we had the food for dinner, but not at the restaurant. Let me explain...For starters, we decided to go to this particular event because, yes the school was sponsoring it, but more so because all of the proceeds went to a local homeless shelter. I'll support that any day. So, we loaded every one in the car and headed out. Our first stop, get some cash, as you never know whether or not a smaller restaurant takes credit and you certainly don't want to be the one holding the bill without any way to pay for it. I had the route we needed to take right there inside the old noggin', however, what I didn't plan for is the fact that I thought Swanky Frankies was in a completely different part of town than it really is. This was brought to my attention ever so eloquently by my wife as we were passing the restaurant on the left. She simply asked me "where are you going?" with a tone that was somewhere between the place that sarcasm, disbelief and annoyance all cross paths. I quickly regained my composure and responded that there was a bank up on the right-hand side and I thought we'd use the ATM there. Of course, my wife didn't buy any of that. That's why I married her...she can cut through any bull that I try to sling her way! We managed to get our money, turn around and finally arrive at Swanky Frankies. My initial thoughts? YIKES! Maybe it was because of the school charity event occurring this evening, but to say the place was disorganized would be the understatement of the year. It made the financial industry look like Baldridge award winners. And I work in the financial industry! Granted, it's a small place, so seating was limited. But, there were lines of people everywhere - you didn't know who was waiting to be seated and who was waiting for carryout. When we finally made our way through the maze of school supporters, it it took at least 10 minutes before someone approached us to take our order. Because of minimal breathing room within the facility, we opted for them to bag our order and we'd take it mobile. Bad choice! It took what seemed like a decade or two before our order finally came up. Thankfully, it was a short ride home, and in no time the table was set and the food ready to be eaten. There's nothing quite like the taste of cold chili dogs after a long day in line waiting for them. The dogs were cold, the chili fries a mounded mess, and the gyro sandwich a poor replicant of it's original brethren. I can't remember the last time I had such an awful experience with a hot dog, other than the time I almost choked on one as a kid. To summarize, no swanky, cold frankie. I say stick with Dearborn, Ball Park, Koegel's or whatever store brand you roll with. At least you know exactly what you're getting for the price.